I haven’t heard from Jake in four days. I don’t know where in the world he is or what he’s doing. I have no news about Solha. I have no idea under what conditions she’s kept, who is caring for her, and when she’ll be able to board a flight for the United States. My book is currently ranked one hundred and twenty thousandth — that’s 120,000, people — most popular on Amazon.com, down from 22,000 as of yesterday. What accounts for such a stunning drop in popularity in the span of an afternoon? Did Jeff Bezos skim this blog and decide, “You know what, return to sender.” Is there an book gremlin out there who is trying to make me to jump out the window?
On the upside, my book is currently ranked number 70 on the “Best Southern United States Biographies” list — betcha didn’t know such a niche category existed, did ya? — right behind Stoney Knows How: Life as a Sideshow Tattoo Artist. Me and Stoney, we party.
Then there is my slow cooked Tuscan White Bean Soup….
The soup turned out to be….not good. I learned a valuable lesson about slow cooking soup containing inexpensive bacon. Inexpensive bacon is not a good substitute for fancier pancetta because all the gunky fat in the bacon renders out during the 11 hour cook time, giving the finished soup a sheen so slick and shiny I practically had to wear sunglasses as protection from the oily glare.
It was like eating hot salad dressing.
But I ate it anyway because I’m jacked on crazy this week.