As Jake and I ease back into the daily routine of marriage, I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes a union last, really last….not five years, not seven years, not twenty years….I’m talking for the long haul!
Here, a couple who has been hitched an impressive 43 years — also the parents of my good friend Paula — weighs in on Paula’s fantastic blog It’s Not You, It’s the Dishes, also the title of the accompanying book, due out in paperback this June.
The takeaway: It’s not rocket science, people.
See, marriage is easy….IF you a) be nice b) don’t overanalyze it and c) pick up your crap.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I agree that as long as the two people are in love and respect each other, then marriage is very easy. However, when one person questions the love or loses the respect…you have issues. When someone questions the love AND loses the repect…you have divorce…
Sounds like a great book with many laughs!
I wholeheartedly agree with Shelby.
My parents will celebrate their 60th this year, and they will tell you with 5 kids (all married, 11 grand kids) that there is nothing easy. Job issues, recessions, kid problems (not me of course) and just the everyday stuff all play into it. They even had to fight thru the trust issues that end most marriages. But they never sugar coated it, we saw their struggles, their triumphs and now as they love each other in their 80′s we kids see what the reward for fighting for your love really is.
Thanks Shelby, brings a tear to my eye.
thanks Susie!
We are near our fortieth anniversary. For starters, we didn’t go into marriage seeing it as anything but a permanent partnership. None of our parents or grandparents divorced. We both grew up with good, faithful, moral marriage as the example.
We have always been best friends, each putting the other before all others. It has been good. The longer the shared life, the sweeter—and more bittersweet—it becomes, because you know time is racing past. I have no desire to be young again, but I’d sure like to have a lot more time together.
I read the blog piece on marriage….pretty good advice! We’ve been married 27 years! Wow. We met when we were 18 an 19. We kind of gre up together and it wasn’t easy. I think the younger you are the harder it is to understand how to compromise, etc. I guess we just hung in there. And he’s my prince charming, my hero…..most of the time. I wonder how the dynamics would have changed if we had been parted two separate times for a year each. You’ve got your work cut out for you. Both. P.s. Finished your book. Wonderful! There were some very inspiring parts…the one that resonated the most was the last paragraph on pg. 296…role playing with one foot out the door….wow….what insight. Thanks for making me reconsider …me.
Hi Joanne: Glad you (finally) got the book! Thanks for the feedback!
A good back rub generally fixes any issues I may have with Jeff. The secret to our 15 year marriage—backrubs. Lots of them.
Lucky! Jake practically groans with displeasure when I ask him for a backrub.
Ask him if he’ll do your feet.
Compromise, right,
(5 weeks married, 2nd try)
After 40 years of marriage I learned a few things, one of which is that marriage is not a 50-50 proposition – its 100% and 100%. Give it all you can.
Well, I always ask for foot rubs! I have been married for 27 years and I always say it takes 100% from both sides. Not 50/50. It’s the little things….we make each other coffee, I usually cook dinner (which I love to do) and he is the “fixer” of things (handyman). And know there are days that one must choose to love. It’s the choosing….