My third annual Fourth of July bake-off

I’m a little behind concluding my Third Annual Fourth of July bake-off (I blame the power outage and the fact that it’s a kajillion degrees!) but here’s how it went down.

About 3 p.m. on Fourth of July, we got our power back on. Hallafreakinlooyah! I didn’t have much time before the party at 5:30 so I cut a few corners and made a simple fruit pizza using mostly boxed ingredients.  I know, I know, it’s terrible violation of good taste but my back was against the wall, people!  Work with me.  And I was determined to not go down in flames for the third year in a row.

Why a fruit pizza? Because our hosts recently installed an outdoor pizza oven in their backyard that can cook a pizza at something like 900 degrees in 3 minutes, and I thought riffing off that idea might win me a few points for cleverness since I sure wasn’t winning for baking talent.

To make, combine one 1 pound bag of Betty Crocker sugar cookie mix (save your commentary!), 1 stick of melted butter and 1 egg to a bowl. Mix until it forms a dough and press onto a pizza sheet. Bake at 375 degree oven for 10-15 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown.  Remove from the oven and cool completely.

Meanwhile, in a mixing bowl beat on high speed 1 cup whipping cream until it forms sturdy peaks, about 5-7 minutes. Fold in 1/2 cup cream cheese frosting.  I had to use store bought cream cheese frosting because of time constraints, but I recommend homemade; the store bought stuff had a slightly tinny, artificial flavor I wasn’t crazy about, and I’m a sucker for good cream cheese frosting!

Next, I called in Jake, who has a much steadier hand than I, to decorate the pizza. “Make a star,” I said. “And it has to be perfect. We have to win! Win, I say! No pressure, or anything.”

“That doesn’t look like a star, Jake. Jake, that really doesn’t look like a star.”

“Please stop saying that,” he said.

Sooner or later, the star began to take shape.

I began to get excited, very excited.  A could almost taste victory!  In fact, I did taste it and tasted like a blue ribbon win to me.

Next, I went and bought a pizza box to help bring home my clever theme. I decorated that sucker with all sorts of inane commentary and stars and flags and stuff out of a blind desperation to win. (Now if I could only direct this fervent ambition to my career.)

I slid the fruit pizza into the box and off we went to the party.

The party was a fabulous time, as it is every year: the food, the cocktails, the guests, the conversation.  Thom and Lornie are the best hosts.

We dressed June up as a red, white and blue wearing gansta’ baby and she actually kept her bandanna on for nearly the entire party.  That’s my girl!

Sooner or later, it was time for the unveiling of the cakes…

Ta-dah! Not bad, eh?

That husband of mine has a steady hand, don’t you think?  Can’t you just taste the sheer, unbridled patriotism wafting from that pizza box?

Next to it is Thom’s cake.  He opted not to use any fondant this year. Something about how some of my blog readers dissed fondant’s “artificial” flavor last year. (Little do they know that my fruit pizza came from a bag!)

A truly spectacular cake, as usual: Nicely executed, one hundred percent homemade, decorated without spousal back-up. And the ace in the hole: The best homemade cream cheese frosting EVER.

This was by far the best cream cheese frosting I’ve ever had.  It beat the pants off my processed stuff (which I didn’t bother to vocalize lest it sway the judge’s opinions). And Thom’s cake resembled the Pentagon once it was cut into, giving him brownie points for patriotism via an homage to national security.

(See? The Pentagon.)

But in the end, I think my dessert was the crowd favorite …my pre-fab dessert with the artificial frosting that my husband decorated for me.  It was a hollow victory.  But I’ll take it.

Because I’m cut throat like that.

(See previous Fourth of July bake-offs here and here.)

Tagged as: fourth of july dessert, fourth of july fruit pizza, independence day party, third annual fourth of july dessert competition