This weekend I went to a canning party because that is what you do in the summer in the country where everyone has more garden vegetables than they can handle. The event’s primary produce was provided by my friends Brendan and Susan of Stone House Organic Farm in Goshen, Virginia. I guess they’ve had a bumper crop this year because they were looking to offload some of their beets — will you look at the size of those beets! They’re the size of a baby’s head! — and carrots….the juiciest carrots I’ve ever tasted.
I enjoy canning parties, but they are somewhat of a logistic feat to pull off. Seven women and their kids plus a few dogs were slated to attend. Shopping lists had to be coordinated, everyone had to bring jars and supplies, and there needed to be at least two cook sites available. Thankfully, Brendan and Susan have an outdoor kitchen. Score!
The day got off to an inauspicious start. About an hour before we were scheduled to meet, one of the moms who initiated the event called me up and said, “Yeah, um, I have a situation.”
“What?”
“Um…my kid has lice.”
Me: “???!?!??!”
Her: “And I’m not sure what to do.”
Me: “??!?”
She: “We’ve already been to the doctor who has put him on the special shampoo. The doctor says that as long as he stays outside and away from the other kids and wears his hat the lice won’t infect the other children.”
Me: “Uh….”
She: “So I’m debating whether or not to come.”
I know nothing about lice except that it sounds very gross. I’ve never had lice. I don’t know anyone who has had lice (except for my friend’s child) but apparently, to hear my mother-in-law Marmie tell it, lice is fairly common among kids, particularly once they start school. Lice spreads like the latest Silly Bandz craze, capable of infecting an entire classroom in a matter of days.
In my ignorance of the subject, I couldn’t help but whip up visuals of white slugs leaping from her child’s hair into June’s flossy mop. Hell to the no, I thought.
“Um, well, June and I don’t have to come,” I said. “We’re happy to stay home.”
“No, you guys shouldn’t have to stay home. I already spoke to Susan about it”–Susan is a nurse who knows about this sort of thing–”and she said that as long as there is no head to head contact and my child keeps his cap on and stays away from the other children, it should be fine.”
But what if one of the bugs is an elite jumper? I thought. And capable of pole vaulting across long distances? What then?
“Naah,” I said. We’ll stay home, it’s fine.”
“But you guys shouldn’t have to stay home when it’s my child who has lice,” she said, explaining that one of the other moms expressed similar reluctance to attend if lice was among the guest list.
I felt bad, I really did, because this mom and her child are always the life of the party and she was key in organizing the event. It seemed wrong for her to stay home when she was partially responsible for getting the party off the ground in the first place.
At the same time, I knew I wouldn’t be able to relax if I saw her child within five feet of my child just in case one of those creepy crawlies was a bionic jumper. I like to think of myself as a fairly chill mom but I know I’d be a basket case if my two year old had a head full of itchy bugs. Ugh!
And how do you keep kids away from each other while grown ups are canning? How do you keep kids away from dogs? And for that matter, from the grown ups? I imagined this poor child ostracized by himself in the middle of the corn filed while the moms and dogs and kids enjoyed themselves near the cooking area. That wouldn’t be much fun for anyone, least of all this child.
In the end, she made the decision to bow out. This was even after I spoke again to the host and nurse Susan who doubly reassured me that the odds of the lice spreading were nil provided some basic precautions were taken. I was comforted by this. I quickly called back the mom and told her that if nurse and host Susan — who has a toddler of her own, I should add — was fine with it, then I had no reason to not be fine with it as well.
But it was too late. The mom decided not to come. Then a third mom called to say her car broke down on the interstate so wouldn’t be coming as well. Then it down poured. Hmm, do you think maybe the gods were telling us all to stay home? We didn’t listen. June and I went to the party anyway and canned our brains out — Pickled Beets and Carrot Habanero Hot Sauce! — for the next five hours and left in another down pour…penance I’m sure for swaying this mom’s decision to stay home when her child’s condition was probably no risk to any of us.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Like pinkeye, regardless of precautions, lice have such a stigma it’s better that they (Mom and child) stayed at home, if only for everyone’s peace of mind.
(Beets are awesome.)
It ‘s unfortunate but things happen and cancellations happen. The lice should stay home. There is no way those kids would stay apart and you would all be too busy canning to stay on top of them 100% of the time. Who has ever tried to keep a hat on a kid and succeeded? There will be other canning times. Maybe nothing would have happened, then again you never know. I’m with you on this. Why endanger June’s flossy mop!
The first time one of my kids got lice I freaked. I had never had it or been near anyone that had it. Luckily, my wife is a nurse and quickly got the medicated shampoo going along with the lice comb to pick out all the lice and nits (I think that is what the eggs are called.) Along with all the washing of the bed sheets, towels and everything else the child has been anywhere even remotely near.
Now that it has happened a few times, I’m much calmer and everyone just deals with it. Of course, my kids are boys, so I enjoy shaving their heads to a tight crew cut when it happens, which makes it so much easier to clean their head from the effects of lice. A little more difficult to do for a girl.
All things considered, I think the mom and child could have come to the canning party, but it would have been uncomfortable for everyone, especially the child having to keep a hat on in the heat of summer. I think the mom did the right thing to stay home with her child. Too bad she couldn’t get someone to watch her child for the few hours of the canning party so she could still participate. Of course, who wants to watch a lice ridden child?
I agree with you. I wouldn’t have taken my kid around another child with lice either. For the same reason, I wouldnt enjoy myself/the canning party due to worrying. I think it was kind of you to offer to bow out since the other mom did a lot of organizing, too bad she couldn’t have found a sitter for her child for a few hours to be able to participate too.
Um lice spread like wild fire and I don’t care if the kids is wearing a hat, no way would I take my kid to the event; it’s good that she and her child stayed home.
When I was fresh out of high school my mom guilted me into going to a girls camp for my church to be a “mentor”. One: I’m hardly a mentor. Two: two sisters at the camp got lice and I was the lucky one who ended up having to help them pack their stuff and take them home. I was so itchy driving them home. One of the girls wanted to give me a hug and I pushed her back saying: “Um, no hugs until you get the lice issue worked out.” I felt so mean because I wanted them out of my car and sight ASAP. I didn’t get lice, but I did rush home to clean my car and shower!
It probably would have been enough to comb June’s hair with a few drops of lavender essential oil. Lice hate the scent of lavender… My boys have gone through quite a number of classroom infections with this trick. Moreover, if you’ve never had lice, chances are that June wouldn’t catch them easily either. Lice like some people’s hair, and avoid some.
I agree with everyone else that it’s hard to keep kids separated. Even if that child had on a swim cap, I doubt I would have been comfortable.
Before school each morning, I give my kids the lecture about not putting their heads next to someone else on the desk, zip up backpack, don’t wear someone else’s hat, use brush, blah, blah, blah. I keep their hair tied back/braided and warn that it will be cut majorly short if they get lice. There was an end of year activity where kids had a race to put on a costume with hat and then pass it off to the next kid. Fortunately, they cancelled that idea because the lice problem was still ongoing.
The chemicals in the lice shampoo are majorly toxic so the tip about lavender oil is useful.
Last year, they spotted bedbugs in one of the local elementary schools and that is a total game changer. There’s no way I could work and battle lice or bed bugs. Too exhausting.
My bff has five kids — four girls with beautiful long hair, and a wee boy (the youngest). We’ve been through several rounds of the lice thing. First of all, my friend is a MAJOR bug-o-phobe, so it’s an ordeal. We went through the toxic shampoo, and the nit picking, and the bagging all stuffed toys and washing EVERYTHING in the house for a couple of summers. Sigh.
She’s kept the girls from getting them the past 2 or three years by a)sending them to school in tight braids, and b) spraying all of us, all the time, with a spritzer filled with H20, lavender and tea tree oil. Apparently the little bugs hate tea tree oil.
Out west, dogs can get lice. Oh yay. Luckily, that species doesn’t cross contaminate to humans, but also, toxic shampoo (once a week for three weeks to kill the whole cycle), washing all bedding, couch slipcovers, etc. Major pain in the ass.
You’ll be thinking about lice for at least the next ten years. Sorry.
I think you made the right call not wanting to expose June. The daycare/preschool I work at had this trouble awhile back. It spreads among little ones like you wouldn’t believe. And a huge hassle to have to clean/kill off a whole space worth of possible bugs. We closed for 3 days to clean and then every child was given a lice check each morning before they were allowed to be dropped off. If a single nit was found, back home they went with full instructions on how to kill everything on their head plus how to decontaminate the household. Ugh. Still gives me the creepy-crawlies!
I will be honest.. I am sort of surprised the woman called to guage your response on whether you would come or not. If I had been in her position.. there would have been two options. One, get a sitter (dad? grandma? .. ) to watch the child. Two, stay home.. sending my regrets. I definitely would not want to find out that someone brought their child.. and my household was infected as a result. I am not sure the age of the child.. but I could just see June reaching for the hat.. wanting to wear it.. and accomplishing that feat before a responsible adult could stop the exchange! That it one of the downers of being a parent.. sometimes you miss cool stuff because your kid is sick.. or has something else that interferes with your yearned for plans!
Her doctor told her she was in the clear provided she took the necessary precautions (the hat, the shampoo, keeping a distance from the other kids, etc), which is the only reason she thought it okay to come!
Like you mentioned in your post.. the “keeping a distance from other kids” is impossible in certain situations.. and especially with really young kids.. that “rule” would most certainly have been broken.. if not by her child.. by another at the party.. or it could have devolved into a X has “cooties” bullying scene causing the poor child years of mental anguish and self esteem issues.
It is too bad that she didn’t have someone that could have entertained her child for a few hours so she could have attended something she had put so much time into organizing.
I think I would have had a hard time with it.. despite her doctor’s assurances. Dealing with bugs is just so skeevy…lol
I don’t blame you one bit, Jessie. I have no experience with lice and hope to never have any. When I was in first grade (in 1957), the county nurse came to the school one day and examined everyone for lice and went away. That’s the last I ever heard about lice until I was grown and had been married quite a few years. Then you started hearing all these lice stories.
Where did all these lice suddenly come from? I don’t know how people bear it. I would totally freak out and probably feel that the only way to be safe would be burning the house down.
No way. Stay home with lice.
Raised three kids so been there, done that. You made the right call trying to avoid contact.You will eventually have to deal with head lice (and pink eye and possibly even pin worms) because they are common but the older your kids are when it happens the better. Treating a squirmy two year old with limited patience and no concept of how things spread is difficult. It usually isn’t just the one child either. You and Jake can get them from June and everyone and everything in the house needs to be treated. Glad it worked out.