Seeking signs I might be pregnant

by Jessie K on August 23, 2012

 

I really want to have another baby.  Unfortunately, I was one of those slackers who hemmed and hawed for so long before deciding I wanted to be a parent at all that now I’m afraid I’m too late for a second child. (I should have listened, mom!) And Jake’s deployment to Afghanistan was a year of lost opportunity, an often ignored casualty of war.  Family planning is blown to bits when a spouse deploys.

It’s been five months since Jake’s been home but so far zip. Nada. Nothing. I can’t help but wonder if the well is dry. I occasionally beat myself up for waiting four whole years into a great marriage before deciding to get pregnant with June, as if there was something really pressing and more important to do, such as inventing a time machine or writing rambling blog posts like this.

Continue reading here.

 

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Peg August 23, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I was not able to have children, so I know how hard this can be. I am sorry you are going through this. I like the saying “be kind to everyone you meet for they are fighting a hard battle”. I don’t have any wisdom to share, I wish I did.

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Heather August 23, 2012 at 1:31 pm

I wish you much good luck and hope that your orange Tik-Tak inspired revelation bears out. :) I turn 40 this year and my husband and I are quite happy with our choice not to have children, but it’s always sweet to see folks who want children have the joy of pregnancy and all that. Oddly I don’t miss having that for myself, but I’d miss getting to see others have it. :)

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Lisa August 23, 2012 at 2:04 pm

So at the risk of totally over-reaching, we live relatively near each other, and I can’t recommend enough Dr. Evans at UVA. He’s a reproductive endocronologist and the only reason I’m 28 weeks pregnant right now instead of recovering from my 4th miscarriage. Sometimes it’s amazing what something as simple (and cheap!) as a little extra progesterone or a baby asprin can do. Please feel free to send me an email if you want more intel… having a second baby felt like my job for the past two years, so I totally understand the longing. Oh good god the longing.

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Diane August 23, 2012 at 2:27 pm

First of all, relax. From all I’ve read and heard nothing gets you pregnant faster than not been obsessed and tense over it. Secondly, take heart: I was conceived when my mother was 42 and my father 56 (of course, he was Italian). When she started having symptoms mom assumed I was a tumor because she thought her baby making days were past. Third, for what it’s worth, I have good vibes about this. I feel you will eventually be filling your blog with stories of juggling two little handfuls (or who knows? maybe 3!)

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sarina August 23, 2012 at 3:08 pm

I can completely understand how you feel. With my first husband in my early thirties.. I was really on the fence because he was so immature and needy.. I KNEW if I had a child I would be doing everything by myself. I already had the only steady paycheck.. did all the bill paying, cleaning, cooking, shopping, laundry, lawn maintenance etc.. I just didn’t have the energy to think about it. By the time I met my current one.. I was in my late thirties.. but by the time we decided to make it official.. it was 41.. and while I always said I wouldn’t go to extreme methods.. I regret somewhat that it didn’t happen for me… naturally. I guess I always thought there would be time.. until there wasn’t any.. now 46.. I think that possibility is long past for me.. I have step daughters.. but it seriously isn’t the same.. especially with a bio mom that is super aggressive towards any relationship I (or their dad) may have with them.

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Leah August 23, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Start by counting your blessings, you have June. From there, go with the flow and enjoy working on your new project. If you quit worrying about it you might get a big surprise. Every month I was disappointed until about six months later I just said to heck with it. I assumed it wouldn’t happen. Bingo there it was. I always said it wasn’t an accident but it sure was a surprise!

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Stacy August 23, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I can relate and sympathize. If my life went according to plan, which I finally learned that it doesn’t, I would have had two children by now and be done. I would have been married when I was 26, 28 tops. But I’m 35 and I just got married in April for the first time. And I’m definitely not pregnant. I want to be, but I’m being very pragmatic about it. I work three part-time jobs and am going to school for a second masters. My husband has been unemployed for about 3 months now. It was only this past month that I finally obtained employer-sponsored health insurance after being uninsured for 4 years. Life definitely can get in the way. But I figure things will eventually fall into place. So, don’t give up! I bet it’ll happen when you least expect it. I am hoping the same for me. There are certain things that need to happen first, but nothing will ever be perfect; gotta roll with the punches. Wishing you the best!

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Jessie K August 24, 2012 at 9:23 am

THanks, Stacy. Good luck to you too!

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Karly Shelton August 23, 2012 at 10:39 pm

I have missed reading your blog posts! I know how it is, sometimes you get in a rut and just need a bit of a inspiration to get going. My husband and I just decided 2 months ago to give up contraception and try for a little one. It’s funny how at one point of my life I wanted nothing more then to get my period but now I wish for exactly the opposite! I know we haven’t been trying for long at all but it can seem like forever. Good luck and the best things that happen are when they are least expected:-)

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Chuck Smith August 24, 2012 at 10:48 am

“I occasionally beat myself up for waiting four whole years into a great marriage before deciding to get pregnant with June.”

We waited about that long with Jenner, and Charlies came along about 30 months later. So it CAN happen.

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Jessie K August 24, 2012 at 11:07 am

Good to know!

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Liz August 24, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Seems to me that it happens just when you need it to. Good luck!

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Paula August 25, 2012 at 2:58 am

A lot of people seem to get pregnant right after adopting a child. But seriously, just go with the flow and what ever is meant to be. We have been contentedly childless for almost forty years, and it has given us more time to be together and do things together, as well as pursue hobbies, than most people have.

Having just one child could benefit you in those ways. It is easier to do things with one child in tow than several. We have noticed in restaurants that often parents and just one child have a quiet meal and interesting conversation that includes the child. Parents dining with several children often resemble a traveling bedlam exhibit.

With one child, you have more time to carefully introduce her to books, music, art, etc., because less of your time in taken up with all the details of dealing with more children.

I have one brother who is twelve years younger than I, so I have lived both as an only child and as a sibling. I can truly say I wasn’t happier one way than the other. Both are good, just different. One great thing about the huge age difference is that we have literally never fought.

Just make the most of your life however it turns out.

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Jill Adams August 25, 2012 at 9:11 pm

Good luck! I’m a big believer in if its meant to be it will happen… I don’t know why I believe that; I don’t have proof, it is a nice comment though. But really, good luck! I have a dear friend who didn’t have problems getting pregnant the first time but trying for their second child has been very frustrating as they’ve been trying over a year! I wish you and your family the best and really hope your family plans work out as you want them to! God Bless! Jill

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dezreen August 25, 2012 at 9:44 pm

If you haven’t already, get your thyroid checked. After my first son’s arrival, I was unable to stay pregnant longer than 8 weeks. The ol’ thyroid was truly out of whack and getting it balanced helped me a lot. By the way, my dear hubs brought a book home from the library last week, thought I’d like it…of course it was yours. Been a fun read thus far!

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Janelle August 27, 2012 at 2:34 am

Good luck Jessie. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.

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Julie August 27, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Jessie, I love this story. I too make connections and find ‘signs’ in the funniest things so thanks for sharing that.
My sister was having a hard time getting pregnant and finally went to see her dr. about it. Her dr. essentially said to “chill out” and the very next month she was pregnant. She was worring too much, as is her nature. That was 7 years ago and now she chases after 3 beautiful babes. I’m no dr. but I am rootin’ for you!

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Jessie K August 27, 2012 at 12:40 pm

Julie, you’ve brightened my day. Thank you!

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