June had a very minor outpatient surgery today that required general anesthesia and I am surprised how much the process affected me.
Having to watch my innocent, precious daughter take a drug that made her loopy and spacey before going into the operating room and watching her inhale gas while the nurses, anesthesiologist and I stood over her singing Itsy Bitsy Spider…it all made me a little emotional. Seeing her try to be a good helper throughout — helping the nurse hold the little gas mask over her nose, looking up at all of us with a goofy smile and darting pupils, trying to keep her eyes open before finally arching her neck and gasping so deeply then finally passing out. That’s when the nurse had to escort me back to the waiting room, reassuring me my daughter was in good hands.
And this procedure was only a very minor one! I cannot imagine what it must be like for parents of children battling serious illness and disease.
After awhile I was called back into the recovery room so I could be by her side when she woke up. This was also a startling visual — seeing June passed out, mouth open, eyelids twitching, dead to the world with her little hand wrapped in gauze to hold in place the IV needle in her arm. I just wanted to bundle her up and get her out of there. It took her awhile to wake up, and when she did, she was cranky. Her body was like a rag doll. She fussed and moaned so we sat in the easy chair and cuddled for awhile and I busted out my best rendition of Wheels On the Bus. These are the moments when I really feel like a mom and I am thankful for the experience. I say this as someone who never really wanted kids; now that I have her, I can’t imagine life without her.
And I never want to see her out of her right mind again. I like my June just the way she is. No mood altering or mind bending drugs ever again, please. Oh, the cruelty of Karma.
She cried all the way home, exhausted and feeling crummy after the long day. She’s in bed now, asleep. I am wiped out too. The glass of wine helps.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Scary! So glad to hear all went well.
When my daughter, Cora, was 16 months old, she swallowed a penny and had to have it surgically removed. THAT’S RIGHT – surgically removed, because not everything that goes in, comes out
When they gave her the drug to put her under, she was freaking out – it had the opposite affect on her.
Of course I was in a “poor my daughter” and “poor me” mode – because in your world – that is your focus.
But as I walked down the hall to get my daughter some juice, I heard a little boy who was just a couple of years old, counting down the pain for his chemo/radiation injections. All of the sudden, what was happening in my world didn’t even compare to what that family was going through. After we left the hospital – happy, healthy daughter in tote. We made that little boy a warm quilt with sunshines on the front, in hopes that it would make him feel better. I took it to the hospital and told them that I didn’t know his name, but described him and the room he was in and they knew who he was and promised to get it to him and assured me that, although they couldn’t share what was wrong with him exactly, that he was expected to be ok. He did get the quilt, because I received a thank you note from his mother.
I think about him from time to time – hoping that he was ok and so very thankful that our children our healthy. KNOCKING ON WOOD.
Feel so much better June!
That is such a touching story, Shelby. And you’re right, it’s hard not to have a “poor my daughter” focus when you witness your child out of her element. Seeing another kid — or anyone, really — fighting for their life puts it into perspective in a hurry.
Aw. Glad to hear it was a minor concern and hope June is feeling much better in the morning. We do seem to get scary wake-up moments now and then, when Life seems to border on surreal. hugs.
Shelby, how very sweet and thoughtful that was.
Oh, no! Surgery is the worst. Hope Jane (and you!) are feeling back to normal super quick.
Jessie, I’m a pediatric ICU nurse, and it would be extremely difficult to see my own child go through even a minor surgery. I can separate myself a bit from my patients (although it’s difficult at times!), but imagining my own daughter in some of the same situations brings me to tears. You’re such a great mom, June is lucky to have you!
Life is pretty sweet, isn’t it? I’m so glad you’re both back home.
Glad all is well. You deserve the wine. This may be a very vivid memory for June. I still have very clear memories of having my tonsils out at age 4. The people ringed around the OR table, the ether mask, the toy giraffe they gave me to distract me, and other things. Not bad memories at all, just vivid.
My daughter had to have general anesthesia for a brain MRI where she was about 16 months. I was in tears when they put her under. So scary. I’ll admit that the recovery was mildly amusing though. She was pretty cranky, but she oscillated to giggly enough times that i managed to crack a smile.
Poor June. Poor Jessie.
Tomorrow you’ll probably have to tell her why she has an owie, because today – for HER- will likely be lost to the twilight zone.
So tomorrow y’all can be ‘normal’: sick cranky kid with an overwrought Mom waiting on her. Except this time you’ll have a new perspective.
Hope all three of you are doing well now.
Wow, made me tear up just thinking about it for my daughter. Glad everyone is safe and sound.
Earlier this year I had to have what ended up being fairly major surgery. My husband was right there beside me, but other than him the first person I wanted to speak to was my Mom. I don’t remember what we chatted about (pethadine makes one VERY loopy!) but I do remember feeling happy that we’d spoken and she knew I was ok and vice versa. Even at 29 years old, my Mom is the best medicine.
Wishing June a speedy recovery. And another glass of wine for Mom!
Glad you know you had the best bedside attention, Tara!
Oh no!Big kiss to a little June!
Oh, can I ever relate. Not one, but both of my children have had minor surgery as toddlers. That moment when they passed into unconsciousness and went limp in my arms turned me into a straight up basket case both times. Even knowing that, in the grand scheme of things, you’re lucky that your child is undergoing a minor procedure and is generally healthy as a horse…in that instant all maternal instinct goes haywire and boom: tears and shaking.
Speedy recovery to the both of you.
That had to be nerve racking.. and yes.. we can always put it in perspective with how other people have much bigger burdens to bear, but this was what YOU had to deal with and you had the right to be worried. I’m glad everything has come out ok:)
Sigh! Unfortunately episodes like this are just all to common if you’re a parent. Each one just makes you more grateful for every healthy, injury free day. You’ve just passed another milestone and I’m glad you both came through it okay.
Jesse – a burden shared is a burden made lighter. June is a very fortunate girl. Question: lets not forget about Jake – how did he do thru all if this?
Behind reading! I am so glad all went well. June is so beautiful and you are a great Mommy! I remember feeling the way you described when my children were young. June will always remember that Mommy was there when she woke up!
I hope so, Lisa, and thank you!
Please give that sweet girl a hug from Aunt Melanie. What a precious little girl you have!
Absofreakinlotely, Aunt Melanie!
When I was born I got very sick for no reason that was ever determined. First, the IV infiltrated the tissue in my foot and even though my family kept telling the nurse something was wrong because I was screaming bloody murder she told them “that’s what babies do” so then it burned all the way through my skin and I had to have not one but TWO skin grafts at a week old, involving anesthesia. And my mom had to watch me get a spinal tap at the same point as well. I turned out fine, but damn am I glad I was on the suffering end and not the witnessing end! I don’t care that it happened to me, but if it ever happens to any of my babies I will go nuts.
Glad for you all that June is okay and everything went well.