I’ve wanted to write about time management for awhile but haven’t been sure what I want to say, exactly. I’m still not 100 percent sure what I want to say. All I know is that I feel like I never have enough time or focus to accomplish the goals I set for myself.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
I’ve been working on a third book, and anymore I feel like I operate at a “one step forward, two steps back” pace, like there are simply not enough hours in the day to write what I need to write and have it sound a little more eloquent than gibberish; the book or something else in my life — other projects, obligations, time with my family — falls through the cracks.
When I look over my daily to-do list, it seems like I should be able to get everything on it done, but I can’t. (Isn’t that what time management gurus advise? Make lists? Well, I’m a psychotic list maker, I even make lists for the weekend, and they don’t necessarily work.)
The simple solution would be “shorten my daily to-do list.” But it’s not that. It’s not like I’m pressuring myself to write War and Peace by Wednesday. I know I set reasonable goals for myself. My problem is time management. I don’t use my time as well as I should and it’s been a major source of stress for me these past few months.
I’ve been looking critically at how I use my time at work to see where I can tighten things up. I’m hoping that my observations and (hopeful) remedies can help or inspire anyone else dealing with similar issues.
Here’s what I’ve noticed about myself:
1. I wake up too late. I get out of bed at 7, which, to accomplish what I need to get done each day, is too late. So for the next couple of weeks, I am aiming for a 5 a.m. wake up time, which will give me a few hours to write time before June wakes up.
2. I’m addicted to the Internet. Shocking, I know. And I have a sneaking suspicion millions of others are in the same boat. One of these years the U.S. economy will grind to a halt because we’re spending all our time flicking through Instagram, Twitter and 6pm.com! I’ve also accepted that it’s not enough for me to simply close Safari when it’s time to buckle down and write. Physically removing the cord from the modem is the only way that I can stay off-line. Once it’s unplugged, I don’t have a problem leaving it that way.
3. My “e-breaks” define my work day. Like many self-employed people, I work by myself with no coworkers around. So when I need a break — a hit of socialization — I end up doing it online: visiting favorite blogs, reading the newspaper, perusing new music on iTunes — which is totally normal. The problem is that those mini breaks often extend into 30-40-50 minute breaks, far longer than I’d ever spend socializing with a co-worker in a conventional office since we’d both feel pressured to get back to work after 15 minutes or so. When I’m by myself, there is no such pressure and it’s much easier to lie to myself about what I’m actually doing.
For the next week or so, I’m going to try to take a walk around the block or go out for tea whenever I need a break. You know, come up for air in the real world, not the virtual world? Like in olden times? Because I know that it’s interaction with humans that I crave, not reading up on the Kardashians which always has a way of funneling me back to 6pm.com.
4. I’m not focusing enough on the end point. When working on any long term project (in my case, a book), it’s easy to get bogged down in the enormity of the task, fretting about all that I have to do with no clear end in sight. But it’s so, so, so important to work toward a specific end point. It doesn’t even have to mean the end of the book since that can seem so far off, vague and impossible. It could mean end of a chapter, the end of a page, or, the way it’s been going for me, the end of a sentence. Focusing on “the end” is a reminder there is one!
5. I compare myself to others all the time. We’re always told not to do this because it can lead to diminished self-confidence, the grass is always greener, etc, etc, but I find it impossible not to. In fact, I think comparing yourself to others is part of the human condition; we all secretly (or unsecretly) want to know how well we stack up to the competition. And isn’t a little competition a good thing? Isn’t that what keeps us on our toes and striving to be better?
The problem is when we interpret the success of others as our own failure — Jane Doe’s blog is #1 and mine isn’t, therefore, I am a loser. When those two things are not actually related. Jane Doe’s success does not make me any less successful, it just means I’m spending too much time online again when I really need to buckle down and get back to work.
6. I try to do it all. I don’t know how other writer/bloggers do it, but I find it challenging to write a blog, take on freelance assignments, be a good wife and mom, and write a book simultaneously. It seems like I should be able to do it all, especially when I compare myself (there I go again with the comparison thing) to all those who perform these exact duties seemingly with no problem, while I come up short. This is where comparing can actually be useful: It’s not that they are so much “better” than you (though of course they may be but lets not dwell on that), it’s that they know how to manage their time, delegate tasks and when to let lesser tier obligations slide. Thinking critically about your habits compared to others’ gives you something positive and specific to work toward instead of being stuck in the rut of “I suck.”
I’ve had to accept that it’s time for me to make some hard choices. For the next couple of weeks, I’m putting Rurally Screwed on the back burner until I meet a specific book deadline. I hate to do it because I love the blog and I love my readers, but tough times require tough measures. (I still plan to post….just not as often.)
7. I rarely reward myself for a job well done. Positive reinforcement in the form of little presents can be a very powerful incentive to get things done, yet I always manage to talk myself out of it (“it’s too much money / I should be saving for June’s college / the car needs fixed”). But in the interest of getting over this book hurdle, I’ve decided to buy myself a great gift — as yet undecided — if I can do what needs to be done in two weeks time.
So there you have it: My less than stellar work habits exposed and goals for getting back on track. What do you think? Are you in a similar situation? How do you deal? I’d love to know.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
Jessie, I have a comment and a question.
Comment: Sounds to me like to have a topic for your 4th book.
Question: Do we manage time or does time manage us?
Its about living our lives and sometime life gets in the way of living.
Great point!
re: those e-breaks – i have to set a timer! one thing always seems to lead to the next, and then – “i just want to check on ___” a timer makes you aware of just how long things take and makes you more realistic.
you’re right, ginny, being unrealistic about the amt of time stuff takes is a huge part of being trapped in the time suck. i debated getting a timer, but something about it seemed so rigid and inflexible to me, but i ought to give it a try, just to see how it works.
These are so true, especially number 4! It’s hard to remember not to always just rush on to the next thing. Nivi got me into Pomodoros (http://www.pomodorotechnique.com/) and they saved me…
Another thing to check out, thank you, Alice! Will totally check it out.
Hi Jesse~ I was reading my nov 2012 issue of Ladies Home journal and came to your story about your husband being deployed and bringing home a dog. I then went online and found your book “rurally screwed” and downloaded to my kindle. read it, non-stop for about 7 hours til I was done. i could not put it down!! I am a transplant from Minneapolis to SW Minnesota. Met a man, did the long distance thing for a while and eventually left my home, job, family and friends to be with him. there are so many similarities between your story and mine-right down to the canning, home brewing, wine making, gardening and chickens! I even had a mean rooster!!! my question- do you have more books? do you regularily write for ladies Home Journal or any other magazine?? love your work and i can SO relate!!
Here I am reading your blog while I’m 3/4 of the way through writing the exam I have to give to my class tomorrow…back to the last quarter. Thanks for the reminder. =)
If you haven’t read this already, add Kristin van Ogtrop’s book, ‘Just Let Me Lie Down: Necessary Terms for the Half-Insane Working Mom’ to your list. It’s a quick read, a good laugh and a perspective you’ll likely share.
I just spent 10 minutes at this new site 6pm.com… um, thanks?
ha ha, you’re welcome. kristin van ogtrop used to be my boss at glamour. and now she’s ed-in-chief at Real Simple and STILL manages to find time to write books on the side. she is truly amazing and obviously has a good handle on time management or knows how to delegate tasks. i wish she’d write a book about time management!
If you consider sleeping until seven sleeping LATE, you should be nominated for sainthood! When my husband worked days, we did have to get up at 3:30 OR 4:00 A.M., but it always seemed like drudgery. More often, he, or both of us, worked nights, and we’re still night people even in retirement. If you like to sleep in, you’ll love retirement,( although I recently started volunteering at a food pantry which means a really early day now and then.)
My whole adult life, I’ve done my regular weekly cleaning and laundry on Thursday. This keeps things running smoothly, and I rarely let anything interfere with it. Things are always fresh for the weekend. I always do my deep cleaning in September. Used to also do it in March, but I’m old and tired and can’t go through all that twice a year any more. Sometimes it’s okay to let yourself just enjoy life.
I tend to always make medical appointments on Monday or Tuesday, and hair appointments on Friday. Keeping different obligations segregated to their own day seems to help me keep the different obligations on my schedule from tromping on each other.
If phone calls must be made, I get them out of the way as soon as I’m up. I’m a list maker, and keep a carefully written budget and notated calendar. And I’m one of those people who thinks getting something over with feels so much better than worrying about doing it.
You are at a busy stage of life, with both of you self employed, a toddler, and all the obligations of running a home, and still trying to write, too. Maybe you should just say it’s a miracle you get any writing done at all and not be hard on yourself.
As for number 3, the only cure may be a giant electromagnetic pulse.
Number One: You’re a working mom.
Number Two: There is never enough time.
Number Three: “I feel ya!”
(PS – I put things on my list just so I can cross them off and feel like I’ve accomplished something, even if it’s just “take a shower” or “wipe the counter.”)
Ha! THere is nothing sweeter than crossing something off The List. And my lists sound like yours: “clean the bathroom,” “do a load of laundry.”
GO download the “Freedom” app — you open it, tell it how long to disconnect you from the intertubes, and if you cave, you hace to reboot to get out of it. Very useful.
Also, the timer for the e-breaks is good — I also work at home, and find them crucial, but you can fall down a rabbit hole.
I am totally going to do that, CHarlotte. Thanks for the recommendation. It’s the excessive Internet usage that really crushes me.
That program was written by a grad student trying to finish their dissertation…go figure! I haven’t tried it yet though. Apparently I should.
Sigh! You are in a very large club which may explain why I’ve never seen you at the meetings. It’s almost like you’re inside my head where I have been having the same internal dialogue. I get up later than I want and I let the internet capture and hold my attention too often and too much. However, bad habits can be modified. The internet one is easy. Just say no. This might be easier for me than for you. I am 61 so the internet is not as deeply ingrained in my daily life as it is with someone younger for whom the internet has always existed. The wake up time will take more effort but I can do it when I have to. Good luck to both of us.
The problem with making a to-do list is that a simple list never accounts for time. I much prefer putting to-dos right into a calendar – can be a old style day planner or Outlook or whatever. It really helps me to know that I have it written down so I won’t forget it – AND I have it scheduled so I don’t have to worry about when I plan to do it. Of course real life will screw up the schedule, but at least you know what just happened to your day when you have to go the doctors unexpectedly and maybe how to recover.
I completely relate to all these admissions. Just an FYI, I find myself comparing myself to YOU at times. I see how accomplished you are and think, “really? Why can’t *I* be that focused, dedicated, and accomplished?!” So don’t worry too terribly much — you’re definitely doing a good job.
see? everyone does the comparison thing. we might as well accept and try to use it our advantage. (and i assure you i run around like a chicken with the head cut off half the time.)
if it makes you feel any better i can’t even manage one simple blog, 2 university courses and caring for house and child! and your blog may not be number one, but it is one of my very favourites.
garsh, i am blushing, tara belle!
Just a question, Jessie — you’re doing research, writing ANOTHER book (not to mention magazine articles), raising a toddler, caring for a husband, butchering chickens, redecorating a bedroom, cooking gourmet meals, concocting new drink recipes, taking gorgeous photographs, caring for neighbors, maintaining a blog…and remembering to shower. When exactly would you have time to even WRITE OUT a list???
Exactly. She’s in what is a hectic stage of life, even without writing. Unless the wolf is at the door, Jessie, take time to enjoy the minutiae of daily life without guilt. It goes so fast.
I stopped writing long lists of things to do and instead write down only three things. Three. 99% of the time, I get all three done and feel terrific. If more than three things get done, so much the better. For me, this system works better than beating myself up for what I didn’t accomplish on the list.
Don’t forget to ‘enjoy the moment.’ Much more important than stuff on a list.
I get up at 5am for my “me” time. Everyone is asleep, I workout, catch up on a little tv, read, whatever. Means when those alarm clocks start blaring, I’m ready to tackle the morning and head off to work. I put myself first, kinda, so it’s much easier to take care of everyone & everything else for the rest of the day.
I agree with Patty, too long of a list is a motivation killer and only picking 3 means you have to prioritize the really important stuff.
My top current time saver that I’m trying to be diligent about is making my menu for the week and just doing the one grocery store run. All those drop in’s for “just a couple things” is a huge time suck and mentally draining to remember your list and bags, child and purse. Not to mention the social aspect of grocery shopping in a town of this size.
I really agree about limiting the shopping excursions. We have at least one appointment a month in the city. We usually make a warehouse club run on the way home from one appointment, and a discount store run on the way home from the next. The rest of the time, it’s once a week at the local market.
It has always been helpful and reassuring to me to keep a pantry, fridge, and freezer so well stocked that it doesn’t matter if a shopping day has to be missed. Learning that company is coming, or needing to change meal plans doesn’t require a trip to the store.
As a time management “expert” – defined as being self-professed and self-promotional enough to get clients to pay me to tell them about this subject – I have two comments:
1. Read this article, which was published today that came through my Google Alerts update just ahead of yours – http://technori.com/2012/10/2594-time-management-part-1-add-structure-to-your-day/.
2. Read Steven Pressfield’s fabulous book titled “Do the Work.”
And, if you think I’m on to something, feel free to purchase one my three books on the subject at Amazon:
1. QuietSpacing – 2nd Ed. – A Guide to Modern-Day Time Management.
2. Focus Pocus – 24 Tricks for Regaining Command of Your Day.
3. The Waterfall Effect – Six Principles for Productive Leadership.
After I’ve read your article, I’m guilty of almost all those habits. I am definitely not a morning person and I find myself on facebook and twitter most of the time.
What I do that seems to be effective is that I reward myself with 30min breaks to do whatever it is that I want to do (either watch an episode of a show or check my social media accounts) ONLY after I’ve accomplished at least 2 important goals. This way, I avoid those common time wasters because I do it during my break time.