The man who knows neither fear nor mercy

by Jessie K on October 26, 2012

So apparently I am the only person on the planet who has never heard of a Chuck Norris Fact.

Last night, quite out of the blue, Jake rattled off a list of “facts” about The Enforcer. A few that stuck out (plus others I pulled from around the Googles):

* When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he first checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

* There is no Internet; we’re just browsing Chuck Norris’ mind.

* They wanted to put Chuck Norris’ face on Mount Rushmore, but the rock wasn’t hard enough for his beard.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter; he simply round house kicks a cow.

* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he doesn’t press himself up. He pushes the earth down.

*Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they’re just the islands.

* There are no steroids in baseball. Only players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

* Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.

(For more 100 percent true facts, go here or here or here.)

 

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