Last night, quite out of the blue, Jake rattled off a list of “facts” about The Enforcer. A few that stuck out (plus others I pulled from around the Googles):
* When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he first checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
* There is no Internet; we’re just browsing Chuck Norris’ mind.
* They wanted to put Chuck Norris’ face on Mount Rushmore, but the rock wasn’t hard enough for his beard.
* Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter; he simply round house kicks a cow.
* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
* When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he doesn’t press himself up. He pushes the earth down.
*Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. Now they’re just the islands.
* There are no steroids in baseball. Only players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
* Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants today are known as giraffes.