Chicken processing attire — the dream versus the reality

by Jessie K on November 15, 2012

We’re gearing up for yet another fabulous chicken processing day (when aren’t we gearing up for another fabulous chicken processing day?) and I’ve been having fantasies about art directing a photo shoot of it for the blog.

I envision a bunch of rustic, groovy “urban woodsmen” farmer types standing around the butchering table smiling over life’s simple pleasures as we lovingly eviscerate poultry between sips of spiked apple cider.

In this fantasy, I see myself in the outfit below: A chic, expensive plaid shirt, sexy cat eye frames and hotter-than-hot leggings, leg warmers and Frye boots. A childlike beanie hat will adorn my head to convey that I’m not trying too hard. The butchering gloves and apron give the sartorial tableau some verisimilitude.

Dream chicken processing outfit

Now…lets compare it to the reality.

Here’s what I ACTUALLY wear when butchering chickens. See: The blindingly white sneakers paired with black bicycle socks and canvas Carharrt pants, a crusty old tee shirt, messy apron and work gloves. Plus donuts. We always eat donuts on processing day.

Actual chicken processing attire

As you can see, I can’t do a rustic/indie photo shoot of processing day because there is just no way to make this event look cool.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Janelle November 15, 2012 at 11:49 am

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You will look good in anything, given your sleek yoga-fit body!

kirsten ufkin November 15, 2012 at 12:09 pm

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Your nice tennis shoes might not look so good by the time you are done with the chickens…. :(

Jessie K November 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm

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Um, nobody looks good in the Carharrt/white running shoe combo. NOBODY. ;-)

Melora November 15, 2012 at 12:32 pm

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They’d both fit right in here in greater Portlandia. :) Just add bloodstained rain pants.

Donuts are a non-negotiable part of butchering days around here as well. That’s typically my job – arrive with donuts, a spare whetstone, and another round of food-saver bags.

Molly O November 15, 2012 at 2:50 pm

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Oh, I don’t know. Carharrts look pretty sexy tucked into these camo rubber boots (this is my field attire, by the way): http://www.lacrossefootwear.com/performance/hunt/rubber/all-season/women-s-alphaburlyr-sport-mossy-oakr-break-upr-hunting-boots.html

Just throw in a carharrt hat and you’re all set! (my husband did tell me this weekend that he saw someone with a ‘cool’ carharrt hat – so maybe there’s hope).

Meaghan November 16, 2012 at 1:25 pm

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Those camo boots are my standard farm footwear a well. I heartily endorse them.

Karen Stanley November 15, 2012 at 3:35 pm

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My question – are the donuts from Wal-mart or do you splurge for the Pure Eats donuts? Because those little delights would really class up butchering day.

Jessie K November 16, 2012 at 10:01 am

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We do Krispy Kreme!

Karen Stanley November 17, 2012 at 4:09 pm

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A true Southern classic. :) Too bad we don’t have a store around here to get them hot and fresh.
I thought of you all today. Tom went over to a friend’s house to help them butcher some turkeys, one of which will be our Thanksgiving bird. New experience for him and Roman even went along and saw the job done. I’m now doubly excited to eat on Thanksgiving!

Jessie K November 18, 2012 at 10:17 am

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Sounds so delicious.

Melanie November 16, 2012 at 1:58 am

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Man, if you could up here and help me with My Butchering Day (of turkeys), I would probably buy you the cool outfit. Just sayin.

Do donuts make it any easier? cuz I might hafta look into that. Cheers, sistah.

Lindsay November 16, 2012 at 3:39 am

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I just discovered you in your article “The Incredible Journey” in LHJ. Before I was even done I had to find your blog that you mentioned in the article, and boy, am I glad I did! I’ve just read the first few posts, but you’ve already made me laugh a time or two. :)
Looking forward to exploring the rest of the site…

Jessie K November 16, 2012 at 10:08 am

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Thanks, Lindsay!

Sarina November 16, 2012 at 9:09 am

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You may want to consider the glasses though.. I mean… didn’t you tell us that poo eye is a hazzard?

Jessie K November 16, 2012 at 10:06 am

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Jake is the one who makes “the final cut” so he should probably wear protective lenses. I so far have been spared the poo in the eye look. Now watch, having written that, it’s probably coming.

Julie November 16, 2012 at 9:57 am

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Oh, Frye boots…my heart is skipping beats.

Jessie K November 16, 2012 at 10:02 am

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I LOOOOVE Frye boots but, man, are they expensive!

Julie November 18, 2012 at 10:57 am

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SO expensive that I only look at them through the window. For me it’s best NOT to try them on. I bet they feel as good as they look though. sigh.

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