We’re gearing up for yet another fabulous chicken processing day (when aren’t we gearing up for another fabulous chicken processing day?) and I’ve been having fantasies about art directing a photo shoot of it for the blog.
I envision a bunch of rustic, groovy “urban woodsmen” farmer types standing around the butchering table smiling over life’s simple pleasures as we lovingly eviscerate poultry between sips of spiked apple cider.
In this fantasy, I see myself in the outfit below: A chic, expensive plaid shirt, sexy cat eye frames and hotter-than-hot leggings, leg warmers and Frye boots. A childlike beanie hat will adorn my head to convey that I’m not trying too hard. The butchering gloves and apron give the sartorial tableau some verisimilitude.
Now…lets compare it to the reality.
Here’s what I ACTUALLY wear when butchering chickens. See: The blindingly white sneakers paired with black bicycle socks and canvas Carharrt pants, a crusty old tee shirt, messy apron and work gloves. Plus donuts. We always eat donuts on processing day.
As you can see, I can’t do a rustic/indie photo shoot of processing day because there is just no way to make this event look cool.