So I was sitting in the stall of the ladies restroom the other day.
(You know a story is bound to be good when it opens with someone sitting on a toilet…)
It was one of those single toilet bathrooms; nicely appointed, good lighting, the air scented with some sort of tropical ocean mist potpourri. Very snazzy.
I was thinking how befitting of a queen this ladies room was when someone pulled on the handle from the other side of the door, trying to get inside.
“Occupied,” I called, preparing to wash my hands.
The individual pulled again. And again. And again…making me wonder how many pulls does it take to tip this dummy off the door is indeed locked.
“Yep, it’s still locked!” I called. “Bathroom still occupied!”
Why do people do this? Why do they think that if they keep twisting and pulling the handle really, really hard, the bathroom will suddenly vacate and the door will — poof! — unlock? Or are they legitimately trying to strong arm their way inside? To assault or burgle me? Or are the grande nachos finally starting to work their lethal black magic?
I’ve always been more a “one pull” gal; if the door doesn’t open the first time I try to turn the handle, my awesome powers of deduction lead me to conclude that the door is locked. Yes, it is locked. No amount of pulling will change that. Now if I kick the door in with the heel of my boot, it may unlock, tearing the door from its hinges, but I have yet to test that hypothesis because I am not Bruce Lee nor have I ever had to go that bad.
I finally burst through the bathroom door preparing to yell, “Gotcha!” But no one was there. The hallway was deserted. Only the clinking of cutlery and chattering voices could be heard from the dining room.
This is another peculiar characteristic of the annoying restroom door puller — they always skedaddle before you can give them a scornful glance on your way back to the dining room, suggesting even they know how obnoxious they are.
So I didn’t wipe my hands after washing them. Let the incessant door puller wonder if the wet door knob was from water or not.