So I was sitting in the stall of the ladies restroom the other day.
(You know a story is bound to be good when it opens with someone sitting on a toilet…)
It was one of those single toilet bathrooms; nicely appointed, good lighting, the air scented with some sort of tropical ocean mist potpourri. Very snazzy.
I was thinking how befitting of a queen this ladies room was when someone pulled on the handle from the other side of the door, trying to get inside.
“Occupied,” I called, preparing to wash my hands.
The individual pulled again. And again. And again…making me wonder how many pulls does it take to tip this dummy off the door is indeed locked.
“Yep, it’s still locked!” I called. “Bathroom still occupied!”
Why do people do this? Why do they think that if they keep twisting and pulling the handle really, really hard, the bathroom will suddenly vacate and the door will — poof! — unlock? Or are they legitimately trying to strong arm their way inside? To assault or burgle me? Or are the grande nachos finally starting to work their lethal black magic?
I’ve always been more a “one pull” gal; if the door doesn’t open the first time I try to turn the handle, my awesome powers of deduction lead me to conclude that the door is locked. Yes, it is locked. No amount of pulling will change that. Now if I kick the door in with the heel of my boot, it may unlock, tearing the door from its hinges, but I have yet to test that hypothesis because I am not Bruce Lee nor have I ever had to go that bad.
I finally burst through the bathroom door preparing to yell, “Gotcha!” But no one was there. The hallway was deserted. Only the clinking of cutlery and chattering voices could be heard from the dining room.
This is another peculiar characteristic of the annoying restroom door puller — they always skedaddle before you can give them a scornful glance on your way back to the dining room, suggesting even they know how obnoxious they are.
So I didn’t wipe my hands after washing them. Let the incessant door puller wonder if the wet door knob was from water or not.
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh crap! That’s funny…but I have to wonder if it was a child. oops! I hate public doorhandles. I also despise when bathroom stall doors push in only and leave no room at all to squeeze in without rubbing up against the dang loo. And it’s not like I’m overly large. It’s especially trying when you have to take a child in there with you. Oh, and then theres the challenge of dealing with self flushing toilets and freaked out children.
Got off on a whole different subject there, once again.
Check this out. My daughters school put in automatic flushing sensors as an afterthought. The sensors are about 12 inches above the kids heads so when they sit down the toilet will voilently flush! My girl does not go all day as a result. I bet she isn’t alone.
My daughter has somewhat of the same issue. So sad for the little ones.
Haha! Well Played!
I always instantly leave the knob alone when I’m met with resistance, not wanting the person inside to feel that I’m trying to hurry them.
Haha, funny story. There is a picnic area in Goshen, near where I grew up. The toilets there used to flush the whole time you were sitting there. That was terrifying for me. But back to your story, I am a one pull gal too. And if it is locked, I usually blush with embarrassment.
lol – I’m just continually amazed at the topics you write about Jessie – the things we learn in here are just priceless.
Keep it going!
I’m a one pull gal too, however this can lead to embarrassing moments when it turns out that the door wasn’t actually locked, I’m just too weak to push it open!
Hey Jessie. I’m really enjoying your blog. Found it yesterday after googling the Belly Button Cookies. Your mistake, My gain. I have not made them yet. Perhaps for the Superbowl. Any way, I went back to January of 2012 and have been reading them all especially about Solha and her shenanigans and your husbands return. Only up to April so I have alot to read yet. And plan to purchase your book. Keep up the good work. And I encourage you to write a childs book of Solha. Rescued dogs are the best dogs. And Junes best friend I’m sure.
Jessie,
The door puller might have been impaired; intoxicated or distracted by grande nachos black magic. Or unsure whether the door opened in or out, or whether the lock was sticking, but not locked.
When you left, she was likely making use of the facilities next door. Grande nachos black magic, after all.
Just wanted to say that this post must be the impetus for the banner ad currently at the top of your blog page on my screen:
Toilets
Toilet Installation and Repair for Over 58 Years – Serving Baltimore.
http://www.callcatons.com
I have a Restrooms.com add now. Thanks for that!
Just now catching up with the comments – checked my banner – it’s advertising Maintenance Free Restrooms.
Hilarious!
I have to write a post about this: the insanely humiliating banner ads that show up on my blog. AAAAAGH! I don’t know how to control it.
I’m a knock first kinda gal. (Unless I know it is a multi stall facility like at the grocery store).
My friend and I sat at a Chipotle and waited for like 10 minutes recently because our one-pull didn’t get the door open… we told people the bathroom was occupied and they left… we waited some more… and then asked an employee if perhaps someone needed help in there. Turns out you just have to pull REALLY hard… but hopefully, most of the time, one-pull will doya.