For the heavy drinker in your life

by Jessie K on November 12, 2009

I love this time of year when my mailbox becomes stuffed with all sorts of glorious catalogs featuring wonderfully exciting crap I didn’t realize I needed.

Jake and I came across this little gem in the Kotula (“The Guys With the Goods”) catalog last night. It will make a dandy gift for the heavy drinker in your life.

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It’s called the GIANT WINE GLASS ($12.99) and it holds an entire bottle wine — “Just the thing for a cozy night in,” reads the copy.

You know those nights when you’re at a friend’s house and everyone is slowly, politely sipping their wine but you can’t help but guzzle yours because you think you might have a little problem? No?  I don’t know anything about that either. But you’re too embarrassed to say “More please” because you know everyone already thinks you’re a drunk?  The Giant Wine Glass removes this painful social stigma. The Giant Wine Glass allows you to slump in your Lay-Z-Boy and drink an entire bottle of your favorite Fetzer without having to get up once. No one can say, “There goes ‘Jezzie,’ helping herself to another glass of my $7.99 wine.” No one will notice how drunk you are.   No one will notice you, period.  Not if you stay very, very quiet and sip your “grape drank” like the refined and sophisticated lady you are.  Shhh. I won’t tell anyone. Your secret is safe with me. Happy Holidays.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Ashley English November 12, 2009 at 4:32 pm

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oh, jessie. JESSIE! i actually covered my mouth in shock and awe whilst reading this post. even checked the link, just to confirm. damn.

Virginia B. November 13, 2009 at 8:42 am

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Your description of getting that next glass is spot on… This would solve it all. :)

Aftercancer November 13, 2009 at 10:10 am

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I wanted to let you know that you’ve been picked up by Gawker, congrats! Love the glass, I wonder how many I should order?

Kelly November 13, 2009 at 12:05 pm

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I can think of several folks that would think this was the PERFECT drink…er…gift

paula November 13, 2009 at 12:18 pm

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i’m so glad you turned me on to this catalog. i finally found this thing i’ve been looking for FOREVER but couldn’t find:

http://www.kotulas.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10051&storeId=10001&productId=12245&langId=-1&parent_category_rn=14551&top_category=10134

Delvon Krinkle November 13, 2009 at 6:47 pm

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Do they make one of these for malt liquor?

Jon November 14, 2009 at 6:34 am

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Check out the video they just put on the product page (your link) at kotulas.com…very funny. Or you can see it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K45b0x4brLw

Jessie K November 14, 2009 at 7:52 am

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Ha! Funny!

Amy K December 2, 2009 at 3:41 pm

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This is great…they also have a Giant Beer Glass that holds up to five cans of beer! I’ll get the wine glass and buy the beer glass for my husband!

http://www.kotulas.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10051&storeId=10001&productId=14347&langId=-1&parent_category_rn=13055&top_category=10096

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