Fancy-pants leeks

Now that I grow my own leeks, I realize that those I’ve been buying at the grocery store all these years are actually bionic, surgically enhanced, Botox-injection-between-the-eyes leeks. I have finally learned that leeks the size of kielbasa aren’t NORMAL outside of a Miracle Gro factory.

Why are commercial leeks super-sized compared to their organically grown counterparts? They’re nothing more than big scallions, after all, requiring no special skills, soil or growing conditions. They transport easily enough.

I have a feeling it boils down to marketing. The bigger the leek, the bigger the price. And leeks, even though they’re just an ordinary onion, still have somewhat of a John-Kerry-wind-surfing fancy-pants cache (it’s like arugula which, despite being JUST a lettuce, is still considered fancy food). Commercial growers try to capitalize on that perception by breeding them to equally exotic proportions.  

I ended up baking my leeks into a Greek yogurt pie that included feta, dill, mint, a handful of walnuts,  baked in a light and crispy phyllo dough shell. It was delicious. John Kerry probably would have loved it.