Birth class recap

The best part of the birth class last night — aside from learning about the mucus plug — was when the nurse/teacher pulled Jake up to the front of the room.  She got down on all fours to untie his gnarly dirt encrusted boots (poor woman!), then made him strap on a backpack with the pouch strapped to his chest. She proceeded to fill the pack with ziploc bags of beans meant to signify the average weight gain distribution experienced by pregnant women:  Increased breast fat, 1 pound; placenta, 1 pound; increased blood volume, 7 pounds, etc., etc.

In a matter of minutes, Jake had 30 pounds — the recommended weight gain for women during pregnancy – of beans strapped to his chest. Then she told him to bend down and try to lace up his boots.

He had trouble doing it! He staggered.  Hilarity ensued. (Let me mention that Jake is pretty much an Olympian; there is nothing physical the man CAN’T do to perfection….EXCEPT, it seems, tie his shoes with 30 pounds of beans strapped to his chest.)

He looked at me, and I made sure to wear my most self-satisfied expression to convey, “You understand now why my back hurts so freaking bad? Well, do you??”

Not to be outdone, Jake got down on one knee and slung the  pack of beans to the side, as if it were nothing more than a sack of potatoes, and proceeded to lace up his boot. If only slinging the uterus was so easy.

By the time he sat back down, he turned to me and said, “Babe, if you need me to tie your shoes, I will.”

I now see the value of taking a birth class.

Tagged as: birth class