Code for “I have few friends”

I finally started perusing the pile of baby books I’ve been given by people. I gotta read something during those 2 a.m. feedings. (The other book I’m reading is Life With My Sister Madonna by Christopher Ciccone. It’s riveting.) One such book, called Natural Health After Birth by Aviva Jill Romm, contains some interesting information about receiving visitors in the days following the birth. Humor me:

“Consider posting a note on your door such as the one below and leave a message on your answering machine reminding people that you want to see them but you must keep visitors to a minimum and visits brief during the first 2 weeks after the birth:

Welcome, Visitors.

Please note that new moms and babies need lots of rest and quiet. We ask you to keep visits quiet and no longer than 15 minutes if you are just coming to peek at the baby.  If you are planning to stay longer, please be prepared to play with our older children, throw in a load of laundry, or get a meal started.  Thank you for your patience and understanding.”

Excuse me?  You expect me to play Chutes & Ladders with your other spawn? Or bleach your husband’s tighty whities?

I’m all for helping out, but it’s a little presumptuous to make meeting the baby contingent upon friends’ willingness to reorganize your sock drawer.

Do you suppose this lady actually receives any visitors, or do guests stealthily steal back to their Dodge Vibes and drive away?