I admit it, I’m obsessed with this chick, I really am. How many pictures can a winsome Hamburg lass post of herself lounging in the latest H&M wedge shoes and kicky chapeaux? She’s unstoppable, a cigarette-smoking force of nature. And she’s in love with milky coffee! Check out the guy in the post titled “I Don’t Belong Here.” Dude looks like a monkey in need of an organ grinder.
Archive for the ‘random and nonsensical’ Category
Solipsism in pictures
Tuesday, August 31st, 2010Huge news
Sunday, August 15th, 2010Hey everybody, I’m on Twitter. I’m so pleased. I’ve Tweeted one thing so far. Pithy and clever it’s not.
Code for “I have few friends”
Monday, August 2nd, 2010I finally started perusing the pile of baby books I’ve been given by people. I gotta read something during those 2 a.m. feedings. (The other book I’m reading is Life With My Sister Madonna by Christopher Ciccone. It’s riveting.) One such book, called Natural Health After Birth by Aviva Jill Romm, contains some interesting information about receiving visitors in the days following the birth. Humor me:
“Consider posting a note on your door such as the one below and leave a message on your answering machine reminding people that you want to see them but you must keep visitors to a minimum and visits brief during the first 2 weeks after the birth:
Welcome, Visitors.
Please note that new moms and babies need lots of rest and quiet. We ask you to keep visits quiet and no longer than 15 minutes if you are just coming to peek at the baby. If you are planning to stay longer, please be prepared to play with our older children, throw in a load of laundry, or get a meal started. Thank you for your patience and understanding.”
Excuse me? You expect me to play Chutes & Ladders with your other spawn? Or bleach your husband’s tighty whities?
I’m all for helping out, but it’s a little presumptuous to make meeting the baby contingent upon friends’ willingness to reorganize your sock drawer.
Do you suppose this lady actually receives any visitors, or do guests stealthily steal back to their Dodge Vibes and drive away?
Enlighten me, please
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
Forgive, but chicken has been on my mind lately. Specifically, what is up with Chick-Fil-A? Why does everybody love Chick-Fil-A?
For those of you who don’t know, Chick-Fil-A is a fast food joint on par with Roy Rogers that sells variations of the chicken sandwich.
I’ve seen status updates extolling the deliciousness of the chains’ sandwiches on Facebook.
My friend A makes a point of stopping at one every time she drives south from New York (apparently, there are no Chick-Fil-As in Manhattan). When I asked her about it — “G-friend, what is so freakin’ special about Chick-Fil-A?” — she thought about it for a moment and responded thoughtfully, “I like the spices.”
The spices? Really?
Even my own husband — the otherwise all-natural chicken farmer — makes a pit stop there whenever we head out of town, with me chastising him from the navigator’s seat.
I’ve tasted their Spicy Chicken Sandwich. I’ve sampled their cottage fries. I’ve nibbled their nuggets, and I say: “Meh.”
My biggest bone of contention with this place? The wacked-up spelling: ”Chick-Fil-A “– really? It took me two weeks to figure out the phonetics. Are all those hyphens really necessary?
Trend spotting
Tuesday, May 18th, 2010One of my favorite things about going up to New York is checking out what the women are wearing. It’s like sport for me. I live vicariously through their carefully crafted fashion choices.
The dominant trend I picked up on during this most recent trip was, of all things, the Trench Coat.
The Trench Coat Trend is one of those classic, recycled fashion stories you read about every other season in Glamour or Marie Claire or Elle that rarely translates to the street. This particular editorial-sanctioned look is right up there with Safari Redux or The New Military Moment or Skirting the Issue (a fashion story about how skirts are making a comeback!!!!! which is a little like saying, it’s the season of the cinnamon roll, gals!!!! or Kleenex!!!!). I digress.
But this interpretation of the Trench Coat Trend has been appropriated by chic women all over New York, and it made me wonder, why?
Perhaps the chic/polished looks of Mad Men are having some influence because the trench coats I saw were all very tailored and structured and femme fatale and short, like what Betty Draper or Joan Harris might wear if they were secret agents.
I realize some of you may be reading this and thinking, “Um, Jessie? The trench coat went out with chunky beads and Manolos! You’ve been shopping at Walmart too long, poor dear.” And it’s true, for a woman now forced to take her fashion cues from Woolrich, the Trench Coat Trend was a sight for sore eyes.
Though I probably won’t buy one since the only place I have to wear it is down to the Hen Hut.
She must have had a headache
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
Here’s a disturbing news story that will have you questioning humanity for the rest of the day:
“Felon Accused of Running Animal Sex Farm”
My favorite paragraph in the article:
“In the Enumclaw case, a 45-year-old Gig Harbor man died after having sex with a horse on Tait’s rental farm. Authorities charged Tait with trespassing at a neighbor’s farm on the night of the man’s death. Tait’s neighbors told The Seattle Times in 2005 that they didn’t know that people had been sneaking into their barn to have sex with their horses.”
He died. You don’t say. Probably with a horseshoe imprinted on his forehead.
Our new neighbors
Thursday, April 15th, 2010
Look who took up residence in our potting shed: Ms. Vanessa Chipmunkington.
UPDATE: Vanessa is not a chipmunk, but a FLYING SQUIRREL (thanks, Erin!).
I see she brought a buddy with her.
A few buddies, actually.
Welcome to the neighborhood, guys!
Bumper sticker watch
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010When I saw this on the back of a minivan at a stoplight, I had to laugh:
Life is great! People are terrific! Work is incredible!
Repeat as needed as you navigate your day.
The value of saving
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010
Our friend Michelle gave me and Jake this adorable little piggy bank for our soon-to-arrive daughter. I’d always secretly wanted a piggy bank for my child. I think it’s so cool how you can stuff bills in there and not see them so you’re less inclined to smash the thing and spend the money on yourself.
We’ve made a big to-do about already starting her college fund. It’s ringing in at a whopping $6 right now and maybe one day, if we work hard and save diligently, we may have enough to send her to one of the more prestigious community colleges.
Hopefully, using a piggy bank will be a good vehicle for teaching our daughter about the value of money. And its shadow emotion, guilt. When she sees me allocating a portion of my hard earned chicken money into her pig — that’s right, I’m putting chicken money into a pig….it’s so down home around here–hopefully she’ll be induced to do more of my bidding.
The truth is, I will gain much satisfaction by saying stuff to her like, “I’ve been saving money for you SINCE BEFORE YOU WERE BORN. And THIS is the thanks you give me??? Get mommy another glass of chablis.”
Money and guilt, I can’t wait to be a mom!
Plugged
Thursday, March 11th, 2010
Somehow I made it out of bed this morning, what with the news of Corey Haim’s death and all. And I found myself mulling over a comment I overheard a stranger say the other day.
This person said, “I’ll have a plug of that.” This person was online at the convenience store. (This person was also wearing a pair of steel toed boots, dusty jeans and a trucker’s cap, unironically.)
What’s a plug? Is that like a morsel? Or as my friend Eric calls it, a grooble or snickle of something; a taste?
If so, does that mean I had a plug of ice cream last night? A plug of cookie for breakfast this morning?
Or does a plug refer to any masticated food item that can be conveniently deposited into one’s lower lip, like chewing tobacco or Big League chew-shredded bubble gum or even, in a pinch, chewed-up olives or raisins?
Just wondering. Does anyone know?
